It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
