: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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