he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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