so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
only you would photoshop your dick
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
