How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
