i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
