I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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