whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
