Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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