we have pet lesbian snakes
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
