U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
