I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
