shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's the barista slut.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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