We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
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