Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you never un-have a 4some
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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