Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize