She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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