he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
