One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
