Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
