After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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