we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Never underestimate the power of titties
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