think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
