do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize