my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
