Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
