I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
