No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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