OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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