He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
