never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize