even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize