Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dear god my vagina.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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