god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
