But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
