I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
