Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
