is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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