You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my poor anus
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
