At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
