sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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