I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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