Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
