Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
