Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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