I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
