You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So vagazzling was a success
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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