Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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