She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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