he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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