Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
