I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i think im in europe. pls send help
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