i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
