so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
