i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
