What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize