you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
