Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
