I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
