On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
