Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize