Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
