New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
