I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize