Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
