some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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