Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
time to smoke my breakfast
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
