I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
