She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
