i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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