i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
