I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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