He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize