sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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