Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
