Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
