peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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