Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
