Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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