I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
