This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I need water and some morals
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
