well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
