Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
